Confession

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I have always been honest as much as I can with people. Some say brutally honest at times. I think I do this because so much of my life I have been lied to about my family, our history, everything, that I just want the truth from the get go. So if people ask me something I will tell them. The only problem with this is that while I am honest with everyone else, I usually am not with myself. Sometimes the truth hurts but you just have to accept it. Otherwise you are just stuck in an endless loop. It has been hard work looking at that cycle and changing its course but so far so good and I am learning to be happier because of it.

I will always do my best to be honest with people though. However, I have learned sometimes it is okay to hold back a little. So if you ask me something I will tell you, but I will try to be nicer about how I go about telling you. Deal?

Untitled

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I think therapy is like self help with a moderator. I tried group therapy again and I am still thinking I do not care much for it. It was nice to get some perspective and listen to other peoples dealings with depression, but it so far it has kept devolving in to collective bitching without much actual therapy. I much prefer the individual sessions. So far I think they have helped me tremendously.

I found out yesterday that one of my friends who just finished chemo treatments about 8 months ago has cancer again. She is a strong healthy woman and I am praying for her. Trying to be positive is hard but I am going to attempt to not give in to the easy negative emotions and just picture her having a nice long life holding her grand babies. She deserves that. Everyone does. Cancer is a major bitch and can go fuck itself.

Remember

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Just because you can longer see something does not mean it is not there. I will never give up.

Who knew?

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I was not even aware until yesterday Wenatchee had an airport. It is one gate, one security checkpoint. I was told to be here two hours early because the staff that checks you in are also the staff that guide the planes in. So if you are not here before a plane arrives, you are s.o.l. How quaint. Hey, free wifi though!

I think the TSA staff here (all 3 of them) must have been bored because they decided they needed to search all of my bags. And wipe them down with the little make up pads they have. There are 4 others here so clearly I am the obvious threat. :) They were particularly interested in my padlock thumb drive. They looked over it like a cromagnon would look at fire for the first time. In the end they either gave up trying to unlock all its wonders or saw something shiny. I made it through the next ten to feet to here.

See. Quaint.

I am having dinner in Seattle tonight. Anyone ever heard of Judy Fu's Snappy Dragon restaurant? I am skeptical but open minded. Let's do this Judy Fu. Do not disappoint me!

Teddybears feat. Mad Cobra - Cobrastyle [official video]

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Score

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I had to fly to Wenatchee today to work on some equipment. When I got to my hotel my reservation was screwed up so they gave me a suite with a hot tub in it. It was glorious. And I may or may not have eaten my dinner in there while watching a movie. No judging with your judging eyes! You don't even know!

My smile is...

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the bomb didi bom di deng gi deng digi digi. That is all.